My 40’s Manifesto: Update #5

I am (we are) burning through this year (this fulfills the habit I’ve made out of commenting on time throughout this series)!

Three months into my forty-second year I feel optimistic, grateful, and excited. It has proven to be a period of more controlled growth while remaining exponential. I truly feel that I am experiencing some of the best periods in my life. I am stronger, more fit, and have more energy than I did when I was younger. I am trim, far less afraid to share myself, less judgemental, and far more aware of the blessing that is my life.

Let’s review the tenets…

1. Connect & Engage in Relationships
2. Be Authentic Without Sacrifice
3. Accept Love With Grace
4. Think Deeply
5. Go Public

Connect & Engage in Relationships

I have experienced some major revelations here. I have connected with like-minded folks that I had not previously believed existed. Though technology-mediated, this connection has been felt deeply. This experience is simply the sharing of oneself without having to explain context or setting. When you connect with someone who has a mindset similar to yours, you can connect at a deeper level if for no other reason than efficiency. Once the set and setting are in place, you can explore with someone else your experience. This is completely new and powerful!

I have shared some of my innermost experiences with those closes to me with the Waters. This act was something I would not have been comfortable doing no so long ago. It has prompted some good conversations, questions, and perhaps most importantly an comfortability in sharing deeper things.

On the ‘in-person’ front, I am able to connect with people face to face much more impactfully due to an honest desire to help. Whether I am just listening, just giving space, or coaching them, I am consistently engaging and not fearful of judgment or failure. Being a person of extremes and impulsiveness, I must be careful not to overshare at times. Though this has not been an issue when connecting with “my people”.

My goal in this arena is to continue to grow these relationships. I have several new endeavors I’ll be undertaking in the coming year. I’m sure I’ll meet some great people along the way. And this piece is exciting because I can’t say I’ve really ever looked forward to that.

The Vision: The value of my life should be sourced from relationships.

Be Authentic Without Sacrifice

I have learned a great deal in the recent past about setting boundaries. I feel great about who I am and it’s okay if others aren’t. A true test will come when and if I engage in a romantic relationship. I tend to overdo it in that arena, not ask for any of my needs to be met and relentlessly attempt to get approval. It was a needless psychological habit. It really served no purpose other than to be an expression of my over-taxed mind.

I have implemented several measures of self-care that should help with this. I practice yoga three times per week and will soon get my instructor certificate, I have begun R.E.S.T. therapy, I take 3-4 Epsom salt baths per week and once every six weeks I get a massage. This all sounds wonderful, but it is a challenge for me to take the time to do these things.

What’s this have to do with being authentic? It helps keep my tank “full” so that I am not blanking out when it comes to my relationships.

The Vision: To be 100% to the core authentic with no second thought.

Accept Love With Grace

Just yesterday, I had a new person on my team offer both advice and care in seeing to my twisted ankle. The old me would have balked. I would have refused to listen, refused to accept any measure of care. But in this case, I learned. I allowed them to care for me, though we barely know one another. It was fantastic and it felt good to allow this.

What I aim to do is allow this behavior on a regular basis. This is an essential part of connecting with others. During times when I didn’t feel worthy of love, I did not see that it was something of importance for the person offering the love as well. If you don’t allow this, you don’t allow the other to share themselves. If this sounds obvious, it’s because it is. But it hasn’t been for me up until this point.

The Vision: Allow love and care to happen without second thought or impedance.

Think Deeply

I continue to dive deep into the disciplines for which I am interested. I have read and listened to many books in the realm of psychology and stay up on the newest ideas and research in this field. I am learning the power of coaching and its growing necessity for the future. I have become more mindful, aware of my emotions and how they are impacting my daily life, interactions, and relationships. I have made a more forceful attempt to apply what I am learning.

The Vision: To be a source of wisdom, peace, and groundedness for all of those I come in contact with.

Go Public

I have connected to a community, I will take the next step in connecting with another community in the coming months. I want to become both a leader and contributing member to both communities. This blog continues to document my journey. I want to lift people from the entrapment of their mindsets and show them the answers truly are inside of themselves, they just require discovery.

As the newest tenet, I have the furthest to go. But at this point, I am collecting credentials and applying my experience to the models of teaching, training, and coaching that I am learning. If you need help, please let me know! I can help you.

The Vision: To be publicly known for helping, inspiring, and coaching others.

The Rest of the Year

I continue to make progress in the areas above. Yet, there is something new I’m coming to understand. It is not yet fully formed to this point. It has to do with my management of time, excitement about all of the things I’d like to accomplish and experience, and the larger changes I’ll need to make in my life in order to achieve these things.

At this point, I don’t feel the need to delve any further than this. Perhaps more will reveal itself in the near future. For now…things are good.

Thanks for reading.